Sunday, June 17, 2012

Father's Day

Happy Father's Day, Daddy. We miss you.

This is my third Father's Day since my dad passed away.

I never know what to do with myself on Father's Day. I walk around afraid that someone is going to ask me if I "took care of my dad for Father's Day". I fear that I might start to cry. And never stop.

I only describe myself as "the son my father never had' (I am the oldest of three daughters). I learned the game of football so that I could spend time with my dad and speak his language.

The first NFL season opener after he died found me inconsolable. Three years later, I still reach for the phone when I'm watching a football or basketball game and need to gloat or commiserate.

Burying my daddy was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I tried to do right by him and my family when all that I wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry.

You know, it's funny that I always expected the "head of  the family" to step in and handle matters. Imagine my shock when I discover that mythical guy was ME!

I love you Daddy.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Renew, Recharge, Rediscover

I've lost my way.

I'm taking some time off from my "real job" to recharge, renew and rediscover who I am.

God has chosen for this to be a growing season for me. I am going to embrace it.

To that end, I'm making a list. (As any self-respecting type-A would.). The latest trend is to create a manifesto.  When complete, this may qualify as a manifesto; but I have to look up the definition to see if it applies. It may instead be a personal mission statement. We'll just have to see. I'm going to edit (and edit) until it's a true representation of my intentions.Today the most important thing is to put pen to paper to put the words out in cyberspace.

  • I will renew my walk with the Lord. The times of the greatest peace I've known, occurred when my walk with God was strong. Conversely, the times of greatest sadness and distress have come when I have stepped away from  Him.
  • I want to be self-aware and self-expressed at all times.
  • I intend to CREATE. Every day -- Home decor. Scrapbooks. Poetry. Short stories. Tasty meals.
  • I want to laugh -- A LOT. A WHOLE LOT.
  • I CHOOSE JOY. I want to dance for joy! To feel alive. To move though my life in a joyous celebration of each and every day. I want music playing all day.
  • I will treat my body as the temple God created.
  • I'm going to go outside and play. It's summer. I have a backyard with a deck and shade trees. I have an eight year old grandson. I have plants to that need new containers and outdoor furniture still new in the boxes.
  • I'm going to get back to accepting all invitations and meeting a new person every day. I pushed myself to do this when I was first divorced and it really opened up my life.
The goal is to have great things to say when I write my first annual "What I Did This Summer" blog post.

I spent some quality time on Pinterest this morning so I'll close with a few things that inspired me. Happy Friday!

IZAK ZENOU - I totally <heart> his style
PAPER FILTER FLOWERS - gonna follow tutorial and give this a try

NATURAL HAIR -- I'm in the process of going natural.

I COULD SPEND ALL SUMMER HERE -I'm going to make my space just as cozy and inspiring